"you need to slow down"

Yesterday morning around 12:30am, I fell asleep while driving home.
I was only 2 blocks away, only a street away from mine when I hit a parked car.
Im so glad that no one was inside. =\
And I woke up right before I rammed into that old Hyundai.

I've never fallen asleep on the road like that before.
And to be honest, it was the scariest thing in my life.
I've been waking up in the middle of the night because of the replays in my head.
my body aches in different places.
the meds help alot. i can walk. i can talk.
i can do everything, except for jerking my head, doing anything that lifts up my left shoulder (whiplash)
and walking for long periods of time (my seat belt didn't lock. so my body went forward. & my knees rammed into the interior of the car. ).

"You need to slow down", said Dad.
"But I wasn't even driving fast.." I replied.
"No, i'm talking about your life. You need to slow down your life."

after a talk with my dad which surprisingly turned out to be of a calm and "im worried for you" tone, as opposed to a "yelling my ears out" lecture, of course..
i realized that i can't live my life like this anymore.
i really need to lessen my plate.
and i realize it now more than ever before.
Thank You God for Your Message. I received it loud&clear. no sarcasm intented.
i work 2 jobs. and i have Mater Dei.
i thought i could pull it off. i mean i have God at my side and my parents are superheros.
and i have different support groups. i'm very blessed.
but lately, it's definitely taken toll on my body and mind.

My dad turns to the doctor. He goes on saying,

"she spends about 14-18 of the 24hours on those 3 jobs."

I watch him speak of the reality of my life.

"She goes to sleep well after my wife and I...and wakes up before we do."

Thanks Dad for the reality check.

& to be honest, I think God has been trying to tell me all this for a really long time now.

But i wasn't paying attention. I don't know if I just wasn't ready to let go of anything.

Or if i was keeping myself busy because it's healing for me.

Or I just like being busy. Or I can't say "no". Or maybe i didn't noticemy unhealthy lifestyle.

Any way you put it, I just wasn't listening.

But I am now.

I'm listening now Lord.

And I want to place all in Your Hands.

I want to give You back all the blessings.

Cause I make it mine sometimes and I fail each time I do so.

Help me to stand in Your Grace.

Help me to fix the choas in my life.

Slow me down.

More than ever before, I need to reflect.

Not many people read my blogs, but if you do can you please pray for me?

I need guidance in choosing what to hold onto and what to let go of.

And I need understanding to accept His Will for me.

I need courage and strength to follow through with it.